She kissed me!! and her name isn't Jen!

[MonteLDS]

yes that right. this girl i know Shannon who i have known for the past 3 months who i have only hung out with twice and today was our 3rd time. Well we hung out and well it was more so she needed a ride and i was just taking her. Anyways. when i got her home. she said "can i kiss you" and before i really got to say anything she kissed me. And I have no idea what to do...

some 411

So this is my little story

*turns on Spin Doctors - Two Princes* (if you have this song feel free to turn it on.. ya I know it should be two princess, but hey whatever)

So there is this girl Jen. She is LDS (note that I prefer to date LDS girls). And she is way awesome (to put it lightly). I adore her smile and that she is a very active LDS girl. She calls me *note she calls me* every other 2/3 days. She is always so exciting to talk to. Online, on the phone or in person. And when I hear from her in any form I smile big

There is one draw back though. She is dating around, so there are two other guys who she is seeing. So that a bummer cause like most human I desire exclusive companionship. But I support the idea that you look around for the right kind of person that you exclusively date. So that is my dilemma. Also she lives 75 miles away. So their dilemma number two.


Now there is a second girl in my life. message board just a one time looking up about who Zwan was. Anyways she lives 10 minutes away from my house. She and I have hung out twice in the 3 months we have known each other. (tonite will be number 3). Well she likes me. *I don’t know why*

But there is a problem, she smokes (really something I don’t like) and she is not LDS which isn’t bad, but I much more prefer to date an LDS girl. Anyways the biggest problem is even though she likes me she “flakes” on me a lot. That why this is only time number 3. She has invited me to hang out and what not like 20 times and it never happens. The last time we hung out it was 2am in the morning she asked if I could hang out, I was asleep. But ya whatever. She is really cute and I was kind of in the grove of whatever.

So anyways what do you think about my love triangle?

[cfitz]

It sounds like you already know what to do, if you truly listen to yourself.

Based on what you have written here, it seems that you really aren't attracted to Shannon. You've listed a bunch of things about her that you don't care for. As far as I can tell, the only thing she has going for her, from your perspective, is availability - both physical (only 10-minutes away) and emotional (offering physical intimacy in the form of a kiss).

Jen seems to be just the opposite. You talk about Jen in the most glowing terms. But availability, in both the forms that Shannon offers, is what you are missing from Jen.

The result? You have "no idea what to do". Let me offer my opinion of what not to do. Don't turn to Shannon just because you aren't getting what you want from Jen. Jen may or may not be right for you, you may or may not develop a deeper relationship with her, and she may or may not choose to be with you, but Shannon shouldn't just be filler while you wait for Jen. This isn't a melodrama with a soundtrack of "Two Princes", and Shannon is a real person who deserves more than just being your fallback position when you are "in the groove of whatever". If you aren't attracted to Shannon, make it clear, and don't lead her on. Leave her free to find someone who is attracted to her, and put your energy into Jen or, if that doesn't work out, someone beyond both Jen and Shannon with whom both ends of the equation work out - you are attracted to her, and she to you.

I hope I haven't been harsh. It was not my intention. Sometimes one sees things differently from an an outside perspective.

cfitz

[BuddhaTB]

Good advice cfitz. I couldn't have said it any better myself.

Stick with pursuing Jen for now. Girls don't like to be second fiddle to another girl, so you shouldn't get involved with Shannon unless you're really interested in her. But from your story, you seen more interested in Jen anyways. This sounds similar to what cfitz wrote, but its past 12 and I'm too tired/lazy to delete it.

BTW, what does LDS mean/stand for? I have no clue unless you mentioned it in your other post somewhere.

[cfitz]

BTW, what does LDS mean/stand for? I have no clue unless you mentioned it in your other post somewhere.

I'm guessing "Latter Day Saints".

cfitz

[MonteLDS]

BTW, what does LDS mean/stand for? I have no clue unless you mentioned it in your other post somewhere.

I'm guessing "Latter Day Saints".

cfitz

this is correct (aka mormon)

[BuddhaTB]

Thanks cfitz and MonteLDS for the explanation.