I never post here much but thought meh-

[MonteLDS]

I just never felt that I had much to say any more. but lets just go back to basics right. things you guys know me best for. so here is my story.


I had met a really great girl on Dec 2nd. Her name is Amy and she is very cute and was a delight to talk to. I chose to ask her out. I had told her about how I like to do big wow dates that consequently cost a handful of money. She said that she would "love to go out with me" but she wanted to make it hard on me by giving me a $30 limit. This was except able by me and was praised by others. Many of my friends said that she would be worth dating for having such integrity by not expressing that she wanted to do something amazing and costly.

Amy and I ended up talking on the phone a lot. And shortly after several days in a row of talking to her I found that we clicked. She was obviously the kind of girl I have wanted to date all my life. Sweet, easy to talk to, willing to be open with me and loves the church of which we both are committed to. Plus she loves to cook which is a HUGE plus! She is by far the best girl that I have meet this year. And I have done a lot of dates (13+ different girls)

I wanted to prove to Amy that I could give her an amazing date. I told her that this date was going be one we could look back at and say 'wow, that was a really cool date!' So I had planed our date to be done as follows.

I would greet her at her door and give her a paper flower i made that request she put a memory of our date on each petal.

I also had written a letter and had a box wrapped up

the letter read as follows:

Enclosed are two crowns.
One marked for Amy and one marked for Jonathan
Please take the crown of your counter partner and read the inscriptions aloud
Starting with Jonathan reading the inscription to Amy and then Amy to Jonathan.
Then crown each other.

Sincerely His Grace-
The King

Inside the box where the 2 crowns from burger king that i had placed our names on. here is a picture of them.


and had these inscriptions that read the following

Amy's Crown:
Rules of being a Princess
A princess must always act
in a princess fashion.
She must remember that she is
royalty and always expect to be treated
as such.

Things a Princess Must Remember:
1) A princess will never need to open any door. As royalty she is entitled to all doors to be open for her by a fair prince.
2) A princess should always show thanks for that of which she receives.
3) A princess needs not to always wear her crown if she should chose to remove it. But she should never forget that she is royalty.
4) A princess should always be with a fair prince until she wishes to dismiss him

Perks of being a Princess

She gets to spend time
with a fair prince instead of some frog.

The Authority of a Princess

A princess has the right; as all women
do, to make a choice to show affection,
to except or decline affection from a prince. Along with the divine authority to rebuke any
unwanted affection however she may please


Jonathan's Crown:

Rules of being a Prince
A prince must always act as
a fair prince, willing to protect
his princess of which he is
courting, even if just for an evening

Things a Prince Must Remember:
1) A prince must open ever door for his princess with a smile. He should never be slow to opening a door.
2) A prince should always be thankful for the honor of being with a princess.
3) A prince needs not to always wear his crown unless he is accompanying a princess whom is wearing hers.
4) A prince should always be with his princess until she wishes to dismiss him

Perks of being a Prince
He gets to spend time with a beautiful princess

The Authority of a Prince
A prince has the right to treat a princess with100% respect. This is as far as his authority reaches.


From here we crown each other. And walk out her door to my car. At my car I had a little red table cloth that was made of plastic that i had rolled out for over 10 feet as a red carpet for her. which lead to her door which i was to open. Inside she would have a special CD that I made for her. 20 tracks and a booklet telling her why i chose each track for the CD.

We then would go to one of my clients beauty salon where we were going to give her a manicure for free. thanks to my client. From here we would travel to downtown and walk to another client shop to get 4 chocolate covered strawberries that was once again free. From here we would go to an office i do work at and play a board game, and while playing a board game a client whom owns a floral shop would come in giving her a dozen roses at no cost to me. From here we would go to dinner @ a clients house for dinner. a very elegant dinner. We would enjoy their company. From here we would return to my car where upon i would ask her to open my glove compartment and give me a brown bag, which would have 6 stars like this. They have little LEDs that connect to a battery on the back and is tightly secured so that they can give light.



They have a magnet on the back which would allow them to hold onto my convertible top, and i would tell her we are going take a drive under the stars. From here we would drive to a place where a Salvation Army bell ringer would be, and donate the $30.


Sadly she had to cancel our date... and we plan to go out again, but this time she is in charge of making the date and I gave her $200 and said she has to use it all and give me a really cool date!


Sigh being romantic didn't seem to pay off

[Ian]

She sounds like a winner Monte. Romantic is great, but keep it simple, especially for a first date.

If it was me, I'd do the flowers, a romantic dinner or picnic and see where it goes from there.

The crowns, stars and stuff would be a great idea for an anniversary or something.

[MonteLDS]

i don't do things "simple" because i don't enjoy doing the simple things in life with people who may just end up being nothing. i like to have my memory of great times with someone even if it didn't work out. And I like simple times with people who actually mean something because they are what make life worth living.

[ItalianJob]

I don't like it at all.
Follow Ian advice, keep it simple...

[Ian]

Why would you put a lot of effort into a date that's not going to go anywhere? What if the chick is a mega-bitch? Do you really want to remember that?

Save your money and memories for a girl that appreciates it and means something to you.

[MonteLDS]

I don't ask out girls who are mean. Some people I don't click with but that is fine. I didn't spend any money of this date. All the supplies I had before hand or got for free.

Money is completely heartless... And by doing something fun that might cost some money it leaves me feeling that I didn't waste my time.

[JamieW]

Hahaha. Give her a box, and I've a suggestion what you should put in it.

And no matter what they say, you're not a clingy attention whore, you're just a romantic. I am sarcasm, hear me roar.

[LoneWolf]

i don't do things "simple" because i don't enjoy doing the simple things in life with people who may just end up being nothing. i like to have my memory of great times with someone even if it didn't work out. And I like simple times with people who actually mean something because they are what make life worth living.

Simple is good when you start out. Don't get me wrong Monte, complicated/detailed/extravagant has its moments, but early on, they're overwhelming to a woman. It comes on too strong. Wait to be complex until your relationship is deep enough to support it (if you've ever heard .38 Special's song "Hold On Loosely", you'll know what I mean).

As for the rest...my one piece of advice (to any romantic; I recall being one once ) is to enjoy romance, but remember that it is only one part of a relationship. You've got the romantic part down and I'll give you props for it; it also sounds like this gal is a winner. Just remember that you need to build on the other parts of your relationship, and that it takes time to do that building. Go slow. Nobody ever dumps a ton of fertilizer on a seed or a small flower; they give it a little bit of food and water at a time, and that gets the best results.

Good luck, Monte; I mean it.

[JamieW]

If I were a chick, and I was only one for a short stint, I would read that as:

1) Desperate. Why does he so need to impress me, what is off kilter with him that he so desperately requires companionship?
2) Great drama potential. If everything is a big fuss now, how dramatic would an argument be with this walking soap opera?
3) Potential odd fetish. Is he going to want me to chain him in a tower or some freakish stuff with all this role playing?
4) Uninteresting. If his only perk is to give to me, then it is really just a automaton that will not actually provide anything to the relationship, simply be a willing servant.
5) Not real. With all this going on, at what point would I have to talk to the actual person instead of the character and who is that person?

[smartin4]

From the sound of it, the whole "date" is predicated on getting free stuff from your "clients".

A first date should be you getting to know her, not overwhlem her, and not trying to impress her because you can get a bunch of stuff for free.

What does getting free stuff from people show her about you?

[CowboySlim]

Hey, Monte,

Today is my birthday.

Tell her to take that $200 and take me out for a birthday date.

Your generosity is appreciated.

[algrinch]

just a question Monte, has anyone every filed a restraining order against you?

If the answer is yes, then your date idea is a bad one.

If the answer is no, then your date idea is a bad one.

However well intentioned I would think it would set off alarm bells for the girl.

I would suggest Coffe and Dessert at a place that serves cheesecake. Cheesecake is such a wonderfull dessert. Worst case senario, you get a great slab of cheesecake. Thats better than most first dates anyway.

[MonteLDS]

a lot of people here don't seem to care about who i am and how i express myself. rather i get advice that expressing myself is the wrong action.

[Ian]

It's not that its totally wrong. I think the issue here is that you're doing it on a first date, with a girl you don't know very well. Things like this are best suited for someone you already have an established relationship with.

Honestly, some of this stuff is going to freak a girl out. Most normal girls aren't used to this sort of thing.

[socheat]

a lot of people here don't seem to care about who i am and how i express myself

You're free to express yourself.

And so is everyone else who has responded here. if you weren't free to express yourself, we would have deleted your posts.

[TheWizard]

I'm torn on this one. While I think Monte has a great imagination and is definitely a romantic (which many girls adore), some of this, as others have pointed out, is a bit over the top. Take the inscription on the crowns, for example; I think that if you do gentlemanly things, like open doors for ladies, then they will immediately recognize you, not because it is written down on a crown. Trust me, women notice small things (like opening doors) that guys do. The action, in and of itself, will leave an impression in the girl's mind.

As for this specific date, which didn't happen yet, you are more than welcome to try everything you have documented, Monte. Frankly, I would be interested in hearing how the date ends up. If you do everything for her that you have detailed in this message and she likes it, then bonus! If not, well, then you learned through trial and error to tone it down a bit.

[MonteLDS]

I'm torn on this one. While I think Monte has a great imagination and is definitely a romantic (which many girls adore), some of this, as others have pointed out, is a bit over the top. Take the inscription on the crowns, for example; I think that if you do gentlemanly things, like open doors for ladies, then they will immediately recognize you, not because it is written down on a crown. Trust me, women notice small things (like opening doors) that guys do. The action, in and of itself, will leave an impression in the girl's mind.

As for this specific date, which didn't happen yet, you are more than welcome to try everything you have documented, Monte. Frankly, I would be interested in hearing how the date ends up. If you do everything for her that you have detailed in this message and she likes it, then bonus! If not, well, then you learned through trial and error to tone it down a bit.

she had to cancel, but she did not know what we were going do on the date when she cancel other than when we talked daily i would update her on how i had just added "a cool new thing". She was extremely excited to go. After she cancel i told her what we were going to do; she was in awe and disappointed that she couldn't go. We won't be doing this date because now she knows. It wasn't easy for me to ask people for favors either. plus this date took too much heart. and although i understand why she had to cancel, I couldn't do this kind of date again because of how much effort and heart it takes to do..

[JamieW]

Ted Bundy was just expressing himself. "Free expression" doesn't protect it from criticism. In other words, your "free expression" is f&%$ing pyschotic. Seek help beause you're hellbent on ignoring the help from here.

[Jim]

I know that would freak out the type of girls I'm used to dating. I have a feeling that most reading this are probably of a similar background.

I did go to school with a few people who were LDS and the attitudes and culture are pretty unique. They use to travel to local cities, that had temples, for the weekend and engage in a sort of date meet-n-great with activities like line dancing. Having known them for a couple years I could see how this type of date may not necessarily freak those girls out.

[MonteLDS]

I know that would freak out the type of girls I'm used to dating. I have a feeling that most reading this are probably of a similar background.

I did go to school with a few people who were LDS and the attitudes and culture are pretty unique. They use to travel to local cities, that had temples, for the weekend and engage in a sort of date meet-n-great with activities like line dancing. Having known them for a couple years I could see how this type of date may not necessarily freak those girls out.

this is obviously someone who has great consideration and understanding. thank you Tim

[LoneWolf]

I know that would freak out the type of girls I'm used to dating. I have a feeling that most reading this are probably of a similar background.

I did go to school with a few people who were LDS and the attitudes and culture are pretty unique. They use to travel to local cities, that had temples, for the weekend and engage in a sort of date meet-n-great with activities like line dancing. Having known them for a couple years I could see how this type of date may not necessarily freak those girls out.

this is obviously someone who has great consideration and understanding. thank you Tim

With all due respect (and no offense to Tim), I think you consider him to be considerate and understanding because he is someone saying something that you wish to hear.

You've always been free to take or leave our advice. However, when multiple people give you the same advice, based on their experience (many people here are nearly twice your age, and spent possibly as much as a decade or more dating) and you ignore it, one tends to think it is because it is not the advice you would like to hear.

People here generally like to see others succeed and be happy. If you succeed using your methods Monte, more power to you. However, the advice given here has not been to prevent you from happiness, but because people think you'll have better chances forming a relationship with this girl if you dial back just a little, at least in the beginning. Trust me, I did what you've done before in previous posts (and it appears you are planning to do again here) in several of my early relationships; my advice is based on where those methods got me, which was nowhere more than a couple of dates followed by disappointment. I learned from those experiences. I think like others here, that I'm hoping you can benefit from what others have learned so that you form a good relationship, without overpowering someone, or setting yourself up for disappointment by raising the bar high at the start rather than going slow.

Best of luck.

[TheWizard]

Umm, isn't the gent's name Jim, not Tim? Just thought I would clear that up. Don't want to hurt Jim's feelings.

[MonteLDS]

However, when multiple people give you the same advice, based on their experience (many people here are nearly twice your age, and spent possibly as much as a decade or more dating) and you ignore it, one tends to think it is because it is not the advice you would like to hear.

but no one here is mormon or take typical mormon culture into account. and i dont think anyone here has done anything like what i have done in the past

[LoneWolf]

However, when multiple people give you the same advice, based on their experience (many people here are nearly twice your age, and spent possibly as much as a decade or more dating) and you ignore it, one tends to think it is because it is not the advice you would like to hear.

but no one here is mormon or take typical mormon culture into account. and i dont think anyone here has done anything like what i have done in the past

I agree. I'm not a Mormon. And my experience (as a protestant christian) probably does differ a bit. However, I think that regardless of the differences in our faiths, the emotional part of the equation is probably quite similar.

I don't question your ability to treat a woman in a morally correct manner, either. This advice is about ramping up the emotional portion of a relationship slowly, over time. I think that advice transcends across any faith.

DISCLAIMER: I'll make an exception to fruit flies (who need to get it on rather quickly considering their short life cycle).

[JamieW]

I work with a couple of Mormons. They said you're insane. I dated a Mormon with some success, apparently evidence that I "uncovered" suggest though that she was not devoutly Mormon. A good friend of mine and neighbor in high school was a Mormon (his father was whatever your version of a minister is in the temple in southern Maryland) and he never did this. Further, if this is what is required to date as a Mormon, then frankly, Mormon's are insane.

Instead of trying to find ways to convince yourself that you are correct (as in "waaaaaah, you guys don't understand Mormons!"), maybe you should look at what is being told to you and evaluate if you are incorrect. You historically think the world is wrong and you are a lone bastion of being correct. It doesn't work that way. Get your Mormon head out of your gold plate worshipping ass and smell the decaffeinated coffee.

And one more thing, ACCEPTABLE, as in able to be ACCEPTED. Not "except able."

And finally, frankly, your "romanticism" is contrived and forced. Everything you've written is easy. When you have to do something hard, as in actually sacrifice something of yourself instead of just spending money unabashadly, then you can call yourself a romantic. When you remember that she said she liked such and such trinket and you remember because you're excited about the prospect of getting her something to make her happy instead of how you can use it to impress her, then you can call yourself a romantic. When you do things she knows she likes because you want to share them with her and also share the things you like with her, then you can call yourself a romantic. But that date? You have done none of that. You talk about the things she likes to do and then do none of them. You don't care about these girls, you care about impressing them.

You've no idea what romantic is, you puerile troglodyte.