At 70 degrees:
Texans turn on heat and unpack thermal underwear.
Minnesotans tube down the Mississippi River.
At 60 degrees:
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat-- full-blast.
Minnesotans plant gardens.
At 50 degrees:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Minnesotans sit out in the sun.
At 32 degrees:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wooly hats.
Minnesotans throw on flannel shirts and have the last cookout.
At 10 degrees:
People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans lick the runners on their sleds or any nearby flagpole.
At zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
Minnesotans get out their winter coats.
At 10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
Minnesota Girl Scouts are selling cookies-- door-to-door.
Minnesota Boy Scouts postpone Winter Survival classes until it gets cold enough.
At 40 below zero:
Mount Saint Helens freezes.
Minnesotans rent some movies.
At 100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
At 200 below zero:
Microbial life no longer survives in dairy products.
Minnesota cows complain about farmers with cold hands.
At 460 degrees below, absolute zero on Kelvin scale:
All atomic motion stops.
Minnesotans say, "Brr! Winter's almost here."
At 500 degrees below zero:
Hell freezes over.
The Minnesota Vikings win a Super Bowl game.
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